Handle the arguementative one! รับมือกับคนชอบหาเรื่องทะเลาะ

พระคัมภีร์บอกว่า “ถ้าอะไรก็ตามที่ขึ้นอยู่กับท่าน จงอยู่อย่างสงบกับคนทั้งปวง”


ค้านทุกอย่าง ทุกเรื่อง ทุกเวลา

เขาคิดว่ามันเป็นเรื่องปกติที่ต้องทะเลาะ เถียงเอาเป็นเอาตาย

กับเรื่องเล็กน้อย หยุมหยิม

คนแบบนี้ควรยึดอาชีพทนายความ เพราะเขาน่าจะเถียงจนชนะทุกคดี

เขาอาจมาจากครอบครัวที่ผู้ชายเป็นใหญ่ ผู้หญิงห้ามแสดงความคิดเห็น


สิ่งที่เราพอทำได้คือหยุดคุย เดินไปทำอย่างอื่นแทน

หรือบอกว่าเราจะคุยเรื่องนี้ทีหลัง ขอเวลาเราคิดก่อน

ให้ดีคือหลีกคนแบบนี้ให้ไกล เพราะเขาจะไม่หยุดจนกว่าคุณจะถึงจุดระเบิด

คนใจร้อนก็เร้าการวิวาท คนชั่วถ้าไม่ได้ทำชั่วก็จะนอนไม่หลับ

ถ้าเป็นไปได้ ให้ท่านเลือกที่จะอยู่อย่างสงบ ไม่ต้องไปสู้รบตบมือกับใคร


When a person is constantly surrounded by people that tend to argue or debate about things constantly, they develop a defensive nature. Because they have to constantly be on guard to defend themselves. And I’m sure that most of the time he doesn’t even realize that he’s bringing his need to adapt to other home. Maybe you should talk to him about this when he is in his most relaxed element. Speak to him about it in a very soft tone, because the softer the tone the more concentration is needed to listen. One you have his attention, his love for you would take care of the rest.

We are creatures of expectations. We set expectations on almost everything. We expect our friends to be there when we need them, we expect our bosses to show appreciation for our work, and we expect our children to value our knowledge above others ect…well husbands expect their wives to be more submissive and supportive of their views than others would be. His lashing out just might be due to him subconsciously equating you disagreeing with him the arguments that he’s constantly having with friends…so he develops the “here we go again attitude.” Now, I am not saying that you should be overly acquiesce towards everything that he says to prevent arguments, but when it comes to the “nit-picking” you should keep this in mind-Eldon

18 Ways to Handle the Argumentative Personby Kevin Hogan

Page 6

Kevin Hogan on Effective Communication

Time Out!

What can you do if you are an argumentative communicator?


  • Ask more questions.


  • Be interested in how the other people in your life came to believe and think what they think.


  • Be aware that not everyone perceives discussion, debate, arguing and fighting in the same way. Find out what those important to you believe about each of these things.


  • Ask the important people in your life specifically how you can communicate with them to help them know you don’t want to argue, but discuss.


  • Determine why you need to be “right” or make someone else “wrong” in heated communications.


  • Always think of your intention. Is your intention gentle? Speak more quietly. People associate quieter tones with gentler intentions.


  • Show people you care in ways other than verbally so they know you care when you do argue.


  • If you find yourself getting into a heated discussion, ask the other person if they feel you are arguing or discussing. Ask what the difference would be for them.


  • Ask your friend/associate/partner how you can communicate without giving the appearance of arguing.


  • Be certain that you make clear your intention so it is not misunderstood!


Already you have come a long way toward communicating more efficiently, effectively, and gently!


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